How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship With Spiritual Unity
by: Leo Carver and Melissa Carver, Ph.D.
The beginning stages of falling in love are magical, new, and refreshing. Everything else in life seems to stop as you move through love. It feels as though you’ve found the one who knows your soul inside and out, and this brings a fresh spark to life. As the years pass, however, this new feeling seems to dissipate like steam from hot water. You start to wonder if it was all in your imagination, if the love was real. In most cases, it was very real. Problems arise when you stop adding more water to that boiling pot or when the boil starts to fizzle out.
Nourishment, in every aspect, provides the soul with fulfillment and feeds that feeling of love. In the beginning of a relationship this happens almost involuntarily as you and your beloved bask in the glory of each other. You feel, interpret, and process the spiritual aspects of each other without much consideration. Unless engaged in a relationship that places a particular focus on spirituality, you probably won’t deal with this aspect of the relationship often or mutually moving forward.
As life settles back in and the initial high wears off, it becomes more difficult to maintain the vitality of your relationship. The world didn’t stop when you fell in love; love just became the focus. When that focus settles back on the day to day, you need to work harder to honor your relationship. To find the right balance of romance, spirituality, respect, trust, and unity add these simple behaviors into your routine.
Cultivate Loving Habits
- Upon waking, greet your partner. Even if they’ve already left for work a simple good morning text or call means a lot.
- Do as much as you can throughout your day together.
- Share stories of your time apart. Although not a shared experience, the conversation gives the feeling of less separation and more honesty.
- Find at least one evening activity that you can do together. You can eat dinner together, do yoga, meditate, or practice soccer with the kids. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of living with one another but doing very little together.
Give Your Aura
Other people can feel the auric energy field around you, and you can intentionally give that energy to another person. To give the right energy to your partner, the trick is to connect with what was natural in the beginning.
- Touch and caress your partner with the intention on love. It can be a simple touch while passing in the hallway, but if you think, “I love you” when a touch is in progress those words can be felt and not actually need to be said.
- Make it a point show your love in some way, be it big or small, every day. It can be in the form of a hug, a thoughtful word, a kiss, or a small gift. These gestures keep your mutual attention on your relationship and this combined energy and focus is very healthy.
Celebrate Your Shared Identity
It’s important to recognize the common interests of your relationship, and in the process, to find yourselves in each other. Cultivate your common life focuses and learn to see yourselves as a unit with a shared consciousness or common identity. Your shared focuses can be the well-being of the family, a mutual business or career, or common goals. Ask yourselves a few simple questions to help explore this concept.
- What aspects of life are most important?
- What are your common goals and interests?
- What activities did you enjoy when life was just about sharing time with each other?
Use these and similar questions to unite in common activities and goals. Make sure that time and energy is regularly given to these aspects of your relationship. It can be hard to make time for this but give whatever you can, and commit to it together. You may discover a sustainable, rewarding, and exciting force, a force that leads toward self-discovery and a more meaningful relationship.
Say “No” to the Kids
Children require endless time and energy. You move forward, intent on being a good parent and wanting the best for your children with little thought of the sacrifice. But don’t forget your unity with your spouse is what produced this soul. You have to make time for your relationship separate from the one you have with your children.
- Get a sitter.
- Don’t let after-school activities add stress to your relationship.
- Choose extracurricular activities that allow time for you and your partner to have a dinner alone or a walk in the park.
- Let go of the I-can-clean-while-you-take-them-to-practice mentality. Instead, spend the time together and everyone (including the kids) can help clean together at a later time.
You don’t have to do this every time but you should be mindful of how much of your time is spent separate from each other, and how much quality time is being sacrificed for perceived productivity.
Touch is not only a form of connection but also a form of healing and is a very spiritual experience. Intimacy is the closest you can possibly interact on a physical basis with another person, the goal to become like one. When your day-to-day lives get in the way of your connection the desire to fulfill this act wanes. The above suggestions will help keep the connection, and therefore the desire for intimacy, alive but when the time comes follow these tips.
- Don’t rush.
- Remember your thoughts are projected as energy and without words your partner subconsciously picks up on those vibrations. If your mind is at work, he or she can feel your mind is elsewhere.
- Give yourself some time to relax and come into the present moment. This could be in the form of meditation, a massage, or hair caressing.
Maintaining the unity and love of a relationship can be difficult over time. In addition to daily life, people grow and change with time, creating other challenges. However, if you’ve found someone who is worth the commitment and effort to grow your love, then building a better spiritual union can be very rewarding.
There is a love that goes beyond mere romance, yet enlivens romance all the same. Use these techniques to discover the spiritual domain of your love. If you do not have someone in your life, then use this awareness when entering into a new relationship. By placing attention on these aspects of your relationship, you can reap the benefits of the spirit in love for years to come.
LOTS of wonderful articles can be found on Chopra.com !!!